The morning my plane came in for a landing in Denver was incredible; the Rocky Mountain ridge held bay an angry swell of snow-pregnant clouds. Directly overhead were brilliantly blue skies, the kind even San Diego had deprived me of the previous week. During lunch breaks and after evening sessions, 16th street mall was a few blocks from the convention, with funky shops, delis, trolleys, and pubs. Between the delis, bakeries, and the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, I had: an over sized brownie with chocolate chips the size of dominoes, something pecan-carmel-chocolately sinful, a Rice Krispie treat brick, a peanut butter cup on steroids, chocolate-nut covered toffee bar, THE BEST key lime pie EVER, 7-layer chocolate cake with ice-cream, plus malted milk balls, starkists, and sourpatch kids to stay awake in seminars. This was within less than 48 hours. TALK ABOUT A SUGAR HIGH AND A GRATEFUL HEART FOR FREE DENTAL WORK. I asked my boss (who was the primary instigator of these sugar binges) if he realized what a nutritionally bad influence he was being just 2 weeks before my ultra race. He grinned wickedly, laughed sinisterly, and said, "I know...I want Jana to beat the h*** out of you!" Truly, I felt the love in the high-altitude Coloradoan air.
Glucose over-load aside, when people ask me what I learned in Denver, I have to calculate whether they really want an answer or if they're just being polite. Usually the latter, I figure, so I respond in vague terms. Otherwise, they'd get the following list of fascinating new facts I've learned:
- The S-21 Cambodia prison camp where 12,499 people were killed (only 8,895 remains have been accounted for) is now the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum.
- Blowflies can defecate at least once or twice even if they haven't eaten since their larval stage.
- In an interspecific competition of a resource, better place your bets on the more predatory C. Rufifacies.
- 'Resource' at these kinds of conventions usually means dead body.
- An archaeological approach in cases of exhuming human remains prevents lesions due to recovery.
- Calliphoridae are the most significant insects in investigations of suspicious deaths.
- If you can't find a firearm to commit suicide, a hammer, socket wrench, pliers, and duct tape can be just as effective.
- After 21 minutes of non-accelerated fire, fingers will disarticulate (fall off).
So if you checked out after the first fun-fact or two, don't get your panties in a bunch if you don't get a full answer from me when you ask about my latest trip. Only a special few can handle the depths of the darkness in my mind...you know who you are!! But seriously, there is a method to my madness. I am in the process of applying to be on the California DMORT team; this is a specialized group of people who are deployed in cases of mass disasters where human remains need to be retrieved and identified. I've struggled with my fascination with this morbid side of life, wondering what healthy Christian - or even normal human being - would want to fill her mind with these images, dwell on these procedures. At a training seminar at the Medical Examiner's office in Detroit a few years ago, one of the instructors finally verbalized the general sense I couldn't put into words. It takes a special person to detach from a crime or disaster scene, handle fragments of what used to be a living breathing person, categorize those fragments, match up dental records if available, and return a loved one to a grieving family to properly be put to rest. Yes, sometimes sick and twisted humor is used as a defense, but never at the expense of the deceased. Yes, a strange compulsion to eat frequently and heartily comes on strong. And yes, I sometimes wonder about the nightmares I will undoubtedly struggle with. But this capacity was placed deep within me, and later this year I will be attending the National Transportation Safety Board for further certification as a mass disaster respondent. Only God knows where this will lead, but I'm gonna have a literally bloody blast learning more and more until it gets put to use.
Glucose over-load aside, when people ask me what I learned in Denver, I have to calculate whether they really want an answer or if they're just being polite. Usually the latter, I figure, so I respond in vague terms. Otherwise, they'd get the following list of fascinating new facts I've learned:
- The S-21 Cambodia prison camp where 12,499 people were killed (only 8,895 remains have been accounted for) is now the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum.
- Blowflies can defecate at least once or twice even if they haven't eaten since their larval stage.
- In an interspecific competition of a resource, better place your bets on the more predatory C. Rufifacies.
- 'Resource' at these kinds of conventions usually means dead body.
- An archaeological approach in cases of exhuming human remains prevents lesions due to recovery.
- Calliphoridae are the most significant insects in investigations of suspicious deaths.
- If you can't find a firearm to commit suicide, a hammer, socket wrench, pliers, and duct tape can be just as effective.
- After 21 minutes of non-accelerated fire, fingers will disarticulate (fall off).
So if you checked out after the first fun-fact or two, don't get your panties in a bunch if you don't get a full answer from me when you ask about my latest trip. Only a special few can handle the depths of the darkness in my mind...you know who you are!! But seriously, there is a method to my madness. I am in the process of applying to be on the California DMORT team; this is a specialized group of people who are deployed in cases of mass disasters where human remains need to be retrieved and identified. I've struggled with my fascination with this morbid side of life, wondering what healthy Christian - or even normal human being - would want to fill her mind with these images, dwell on these procedures. At a training seminar at the Medical Examiner's office in Detroit a few years ago, one of the instructors finally verbalized the general sense I couldn't put into words. It takes a special person to detach from a crime or disaster scene, handle fragments of what used to be a living breathing person, categorize those fragments, match up dental records if available, and return a loved one to a grieving family to properly be put to rest. Yes, sometimes sick and twisted humor is used as a defense, but never at the expense of the deceased. Yes, a strange compulsion to eat frequently and heartily comes on strong. And yes, I sometimes wonder about the nightmares I will undoubtedly struggle with. But this capacity was placed deep within me, and later this year I will be attending the National Transportation Safety Board for further certification as a mass disaster respondent. Only God knows where this will lead, but I'm gonna have a literally bloody blast learning more and more until it gets put to use.
1 comment:
Hmmm..duct tape, eh? Red Greene would be proud. I think... Or maybe he'd just make some sort of dry, hilarious joke?
Yes, the endless skies in the mid West are somewhat addictive. You know you were within 5 or 6 hours of where I grew up? The skies get you every time...
Post a Comment